The Locker At The Back Of My Mind

My mind has a locker of its own,

I push myself against the door lest it gets blown.

The locker’s in the back of my mind,

And the shadows that breathe inside it aren’t so kind.

Yet, these shadows writhe and expand in the dark,

Sometimes, I can feel them against my skin, cold and stark.

They try to get out, to break open the barrier that is my skin-

And, yet, I refuse to think about them and just put on a grin.

These shadows stretch out for miles and miles,

And they’ll grow, they tell me, until I can’t hide behind my smiles.

Why can’t I be brave enough to set my jaw and push open the door,

To confront my demons and accept them right down to my core.

Will I stop being scared as if I’m hanging on the cliff’s brink,

If I can just stand still and make myself think.    

-Nimika B. 


Cheeky Note:   

Okay, no, I’m not depressed or anything. Lately, I’m just worried about a lot of things relating to my colleges and, you know, what I want to do in the future and I’m one of those who have no idea what they want to pursue. I think I’m like Isla from Isla and the Happily Ever After. I just… don’t know where I’m going and, even though I’m just sixteen so there’s no immediate decision that I have to make, the courses I pick today will affect my future. I’m just a confused human being, I guess. Anyway, I have a tendency to not think about the things I’m worried about but they always haunt me from a peripheral position of my mind. Is that crazy? I’m like a weird blend of an over thinker and an avoider. I know I can’t just avoid thinking because I need to have an opinion of my own so I guess this poem really reflects me. 

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