THURSDAY, 16th JULY, 2025. 2:45 PM.
*Gasps of heavy breathing.*
Audio: “Day 1. I’m currently hiding in the cupboard in the attic from my captors. If my body be found here, know that it was my captors who killed me, not the heat. The heat is stifling and I’m sweating profusely. I’m, uh, not even sure if this thing is recording or not. It’s s’pposed to be this old recorder which was used back in the day but since I don’t have any iSmart gadgets right now, this piece of junk will have to do. I’m documenting the last few days of my short-lived life so that the right authorities would know how the tragedy that’s about to happen has come to.
My name is Erik Matson and my captors, some might call ‘em my parents, have cut off the wifi connection to our house.
I know, I know. Tragedy, right? My survival till now has been a spectacular feat in itself. But I fear that fact’s going to change. Soon. Extreme measu- *Static* … requires for extreme situations.
My story starts when Alpha Captor- previously thought of as my lovely Mother who l never knew was so cruel- decided that I’m living under a rock because of the internet. I mean, can you believe it, bruh? So, Alpha Captor along with my Dad, uh, Captor No. 2, decided to take this huge decision in my life.
I am proud to say that I put up a good fight, I did. It’d go down as one of the loudest arguments in the history of loud arguments. It even involved a spatula and the throwing of every plastic container in the kitchen across the living hall. I threw myself over the wifi modem but Captor No. 2 held me back as Alpha Captor ejected the modem while I thrashed heroically in the background. It was quite dramatic.
*Indiscreet noise in the background*
Mo- um, Alpha Captor has located my position. The attic is no longer safe. I will try to survive this ordeal. And, hopefully, you will bear witness to the torture that I’ll go through in the near future.
As they said in the old days, may the odds be in my favour.
Over and out.”
FRIDAY, 17th JULY, 2025. 11:20 AM.
*Banging of a door*
Audio: “Day 2. Still no wifi. The world is a dark place. Was it always so dark? Or am I beginning to see the shadows now? Too bad I didn’t fully enjoy and appreciate my freedom when I had it. I could have downloaded the latest update to my iGamer or TheEngineneer’s latest album. I didn’t even text Skye back. Damn.
*Sound of bed creaking*
The good news is that I could see a crack in the armour of Captor No. 2 today when they announced the live telecast of Air Soccer on the radio over breakfast. Maybe I could lure him to my side, though we all know that he doesn’t really have the guts to go against Alpha Captor. Not if he wants to sleep on the couch tonight.
Too much is happening in the world without my knowing. I’m missing all the llama filters on Snapchat, all the aesthetic pictures of people travelling on Instagram, all the latest memes on Tumblr, all the “this country in burning to the ground” tweets on Twitter.
I might even need therapy after this traumatic experience and that’d be really crud as I’m done with human beings for a lifetime.
*Silence for a long time*
I’m going to go lie face down on my bed and feel sorry for myself. Over and out.”
SATURDAY, 18th JULY, 2025. 5:20 PM.
Audio: “Day 3. Still no wifi.
Today has been the worse. Alpha Captor suggested the impossible- go Outside. I mean, what, chum? The Great Outsides? It’s like, they don’t even know how many people are outside- walking their dogs, strolling in the park, getting food in the overcrowded chains, shopping and playing- talk of a dystopia. So much human contact. I shudder to think about it.
Obvious- *Static* … told her no- *static*… damn, I think this device has stop- *static*.
Audio: “Erik here. I officially hate my life. Who knew the Outsides would be so terrifying? I was forced to go Outside by Alpha Captor- huh, come to think of it, I should’ve just run away, man- and I had enough awkward encounters to have cringe attacks for a lifetime. I came across this old woman walking her dog who started telling me how odd it is to see a kid playing Outside anymore and that I’m lucky that I’ve evaded the “clutches of the internet” and “absorbed the beauty of nature”. I’m pretty sure I fumbled and stammered so many times that she thought I might have some serious issues or something.
Um, I’m speaking in a low voice because it’s twice now that Captor No. 2 has caught me “talking to myself”. I think he suspects that I’m finally losing it. Well, that’s just fine with me as long as he thinks that the cure to my current messed up mental state is to bring back the internet.
I’m… not sure how long I can keep up with this. I think I’m losing hope. Survival is a trial and I’m not sure if I have it in me. But I’ll fight. I’ll fight tooth and nail and get my freedom back.
Even if it’s the last thing I do.
Erik, over and out.”
SUNDAY, 18th JULY, 2025. 6:50 AM.
Audio: “Day 4. It’s almost 7 in the morning and I’m doing it. I’m rebelling. I’ve had enough.
*Creeking of a door*
I’m going to steal the wifi modem.
*Dramatic silence again*
Everyone’s sleeping. I’ve turned their alarms off so they won’t wake up. I’m going to tiptoe across the hall to Alpha Captor’s room and steal the wifi modem because I’ve had enough of this dark, depressing internet deprived life.
*Silence for a while*
I’m hiding behind the sofa in the hall. Some might consider that this is unnecessary but, geez, let me live my life. Plan is that I’ll sneak into my captors’ room and steal, uh, the modem from the cupboard and then plug it in my room and enjoy the internet. I realize that this is an incredibly stupid plan but those few, precious hours of internet would be enough-
….I’ll have to hide the modem somewhere though so that I’ll be the one with the power over my captors.
I’ll have to keep it down. Right, so, I’ll be taking you with me to the battlefield. If I die, remember that I died a hero.
*Creaking of a door*
I’m in the Red area. Darkness. Snoring. Occasional sleep-talking about food from Captor No. 2.
*Rustling of paper*
Ah, sh- *Static* –almost got caught. That’s okay, I’m still going to make it.
I’ve reached the cupboard and I’m going to take the modem out.
I’ve got it, I’ve go-
It’s me, it’s me, Eri
<Female voice> Erik Alexander Matson, what do you think you are doing right now?
Audio: “I’m grounded. For eternity. And, by the way, grounded means going Outside.
*Silence which denotes the narrator regretting his life decisions*
So! That went well…almost….nearly….ah, who am I kidding. That was traumatizing. Alpha Captor found out about my plans and looked ready to mutate me. Captor No. 2 decided that “enough was enough and that now is the time to get done with this bullshit, Susan”.
So, I’m grounded for life BUT the good news is, my captors have allowed to give me an hour and a half of internet everyday which SUCKS because, come on, an HOUR AND A HALF? But basic calculations tell me that it’s anyway better than zero hours of internet. Therefore, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
But let’s just give this documentary a satisfying ending, yeah?
To be honest, these four days weren’t that bad. I mean, they were pretty much horrifying, but I’ve had fun. Recording this, sneaking into my parents bedroom, maybe even going Outside. It was an…experience. And I’ve realized that maybe it’s not such a bad idea that I let the internet go for some time. It couldn’t hurt to get some new experiences, right? I’m feeling good abou-
Ah, nevermind, a new Sims episode has been uploaded. I’ll… just go. Yeah.
Over and out.
Okay, this is trash, I get it, I get it. But I just had to write it down. So, I’ve been deprived of the internet for the past three days (THREE DAYS) and I’m literally using my Dad’s data right now to post this. And it’s so, so slow. Let’s just say I’ve realized a few things in the past few wifi deprived days- that it’s NOT FUN. I’ve been sending depressing messages to my friend the whole time about my “survival” and then I realized why not make it into a blog idea? So, this is basically a hyped up version of my feelings right now. Enjoy while I wallow in my misery.