The Assassin’s Blade / my review in memes

My name is Celaena Sardothien,” she whispered, “and I will not be afraid.”

― Sarah J. Maas, The Assassin’s Blade
The Assassin’s Blade by Sarah J. Mass

blurb from goodreads:

In these action-packed novellas – together in one edition for the first time – Celaena embarks on five daring missions. They take her from remote islands to hostile deserts, where she fights to liberate slaves and seeks to avenge the tyrannous. But she is acting against Arobynn’s orders and could suffer an unimaginable punishment for such treachery.

like i once said on twitter,

turns out i will do both because of the kind of person that i am. no one is surprised.

as of 10 minutes ago, i just finished book #0 (yay, achievement) of the throne of glass series. listen, i have avoided this series like the plague because i hate love triangles and sjm apparently thrives on them. but. i do know her books can be incredibly addictive and in these dire times when i literally hardly leave my bed,,,,, i am going to finally read them. because why the fuck not. also i crave and miss the emotional roller coaster of a good long series 🥺

i want to review all the books as i read them which totally sounds like the kind of thing a person who went on a hiatus for 6 months would say and then not do but do it as a meme so it doesn’t get boring for me and also because that is all my current number of brain cells can handle.

spoilers but not really (#eloquence)

novella #1: The Assassin & the Pirate Lord

my first impression of celaena:

my first impression of sam:

my first impression of arobynn:

sam and celaena’s first interaction in ze book:

no one:

celaena:

celaena: i-

sam:

meanwhile, rolfe the pirate king:

summary of the heist to free the slaves:

arobynn after punishing celaena:

RATING: ★★★★

novella #2: The Assassin & the Healer

yrene the healer’s emotional vibe:

celaena @ yrene after seeing her room:

celaena giving yrene a shit ton of money:

yrene yeeting out of the fucking country after getting the money:

novella #3: The Assassin & the Desert

the mute master’s emotional vibe:

the mute master after not speaking for one day, probably:

celaena and ansel after stealing the astorian horses:

ansel running away on her horse in the end:

RATING: ★★★★

novella #4: The Assassin & the Underworld

calaena sticking around with arobynn because:

calaena realizing she has feelings for sam:

calaena expressing her feelings for sam like:

celaena in the end:

RATING: ★★★

novella #5: The Assassin & The Empire

everything going to shit like:


arobynn looking at everything going to shit like:

RATING: ★★★

in summary,

i actually really liked it. people who’ve read the book after the first two installments probably feel more strongly towards it but it makes me even more intrigued to know how celaena’s original character would feel like in book #1.

also,,,, we’re going to be meeting all the characters in the novellas at some point right? I AM SO EXCITED FOR THAT.

final rating: 4/5 assassin blades


which was your favorite novella out of the five? would you recommend reading this book after reading #1 & #2 or not?

stay hydrated, bois ❤


9 thoughts on “The Assassin’s Blade / my review in memes”

  1. I had so much fun scrolling through all these gifs! I’ve actually finally finished the Throne of Glass series last year, but I reread the beginning books so many time, because I’d always refresh my memory before the next book was released! So I can’t wait to hear what you think of the future books! (I’d also like to say that I don’t think there’s too much of a love triangle here. Maybe in the first book or two, but it gets resolved pretty soon compared to how I’ve seen authors handled love interest situations in other series that I’ve read.)

    My favorite stories are probably the first or fourth one. I just really love Sam! He’s such a sweetie! The fifth one is probably my least favorite just because of how stressed I get when rereading that novella. There’s this sense of doom as you read and my fragile emotions can’t handle the dread that comes with finishing the story! In the past I’ve taken a full week to read the last 20 pages of the last novella because it took me that long to emotionally prepare myself for the ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ah malka thank you so much!! omg you have NO IDEA how much the fact that the love triangle isn’t going to be a major thing relieves me b/c that’s literally the only reason i’ve avoided these books in the past 🤡

      i’m on the second book now HOPING that the dorian phase is over b/c i did not ship it. i love chaol but,,,,, he’s not going to be endgame so i’m trying my best not to get attached lol. who was your favorite ship??

      AH DUDE SAME. i enjoyed the first 3 novellas SO much and raced through them but the last two just made me so anxious. they were definitely my least favorite ones.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Book 3 starts the endgame ship, and then it will pretty much be smooth sailing in the romance department! There’s still some residual drama, but not because Calaena is conflicted in any way past that point, so in my opinion that means the love triangle is officially ended by book 3.

    The Dorian phase is over! Do not worry! I didn’t really care either way with Chaol and Dorian. I loved Sam though, so he definitely ranks way above Chaol and Dorian! But honestly I’m happiest with who she ends up with. I really think he’s the best match for her and I really enjoyed book 3 because I got to see their relationship develop!

    YES! I cannot get through books that make me anxious, and so there were so many points in this series where I just put the book down for a few days until I had enough emotional distance to get back into the story without exploding from stress! But that last novella might have honestly been the worst point for me just because of how there’s such a buildup of dread surrounding what happens to Sam.

    (As a side note, I’ve been having a lot of fun discussing the series with you on this post, so if you ever want to chat as you read, feel free to hit me up on Insta @paperprocrastinators. I’m so curious to hear what you’re thinking as you read it for the first time!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you’re so right, after book #2, i can definitely confirm that sam > chaol + dorian
      somehow i feel even more sad about his death now than i did when i read the novellas???? HE DID NOT DESERVE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM 😭 (watch me go back to #novella 1 to experience their post heist hug again)

      Like

  3. HI.

    I’m actually planing on rereading (and finishing) the Throne of Glass series like, this very month! I stopped at Queen of Shadows cause it took too long for Empire of Storms to come out, and I was all about ACOTAR by then. But now I can’t remember anything of what happened so I need to start over! (I’ll probably won’t be reading the novellas, though, though this post makes me want to pick up Assassin’s Blade XD )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. NOT LIKE IM REPLYING YEARS LATER OR ANYTHING BUT HELLO HI I MISS YOU

      did you start it?????? ngl i left book #2 at the 50% mark for like 3 months b/c i got bored and that’s exACTLY when things get interesting, as it turns out >.< (i just finished it lol)

      hope you get time to read the books, I'll be right here for them live reactions ✨

      Liked by 1 person

  4. YOUR MEME GAME SNAPPED!!! IT CAME FOR MY THROAT!!! AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THANK YOU!!! i adore the throne of glass series with my whole heart (highkey think it’s better than acotar and that’s the tea) but i havent read assassin’s blade (dont SCREAM AT ME ok) but this post made me so happy omg

    not only the incredible memes and the laughs i had but like just…seeing you….blogging again…..my heart is so full omg i’ve missed you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

    ugh this is the high quality, beautiful content i’ve been missing from my life. pls dont leave me again thanks (but also no pressure if you do hehe ❤️)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. your appreciation for my meme game is all i required and i think i have received my validation now

      sksskks that tea is HOT sis and i can’t wait to read the rest of the books to see if i agree 👀 which i probably will let’s be honest

      i missed your comments on my blog posts more than you missed my blog posts and that’s on full stopdt 😤

      Liked by 1 person

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